My mario is back!

he is back form Korea.

can u know how happy am I?
my heart was so JUMPING when I knew that day was the day that he return,
is just like having palpitation all day long, and... is not because of anxious, or scare,
is because of HAPPY! EXCITED!

I am really happy that he return.
really really happy...

but I knew, this wasn't fixed.

He........
still had his dream to reach, his career to achieve,
I can't be that selfish to hold him back....
as like most people said.... in this relationship, one must be sacrifice....

so, I wasn't know how long he will be here,
well... of cause I hope is long enough till my bond with my hospital is finish...
was hoping this miracle will happen,
was actually praying almost everyday to hope this will happen,
many days passed...
it seems like... no miracle is happening....
so..... I know.... the possibility is kinda low...
have to start prepare myself.... to be ready.... that, something will happen.. which I hope and pray it won't.
I do hope it won't!
I am that selfish just hope that he can just stay with me as long as we go...
hold my hand everyday, every night,
or.. we can stay together...

but,

all of that.... it seems a dreams to reach,
a dreams which is so far away.....

I just...
have to be strong enough to face this....
to stay with this...
to be with him...

is my choice,
I won't be regret...

I am happy that I have my Mr mario,

although,

he will not sweet talk...he never will! no matter how hard I tried! he just won't!

although,

he is not sensitive enough to knew what going on;
always so slow reaction, so slow to see things clear,

although,

he is so honest that, he can tell me that I am FAT and he wont try to sweet talk to me even that he knew that after what he said I will be mad and angry or merajuk in front of him for whole day, but he still choose to said the honestest thing!!!!!

although,

he have not good memory to remember what I told him , about my shift , my schedule, my plan....

although ,

even sometimes till I get mad or get angry or cry.... these things on him, still won't change!

but ,

he still have his good point that attract me so deeply....

maybe... is all these point....

I dunno....

people said, love is blind,

but I said, love is blind, it blind my eyes.. but with this, it enhance all my sensory to feel all the wonderful things around....

isn't it?

end the day..... day 15

finally, he is coming back to KL on today, will reach about... 11pm.

is like longest leaved ever... so long........

the quarrel start increasing... even a small lil things... quarrel will appear...

I always hope for more attention when Skype-ing, cause I waited a whole long night...

but normally.. he will play here n there... play with the Mr. Paul ( is his dad's Chiwawa)

I get jealous, how come.. all the things are more important than me...

then I will said all things out, give all bom or nuclear bom and all the arrow and bullet!

but he,

always show the blurr face saying : " when u said things like tht, I will lost, I dun get wat u trying to said "

wow... u know.. we girls, when saw this... the anger will be more.. n sometimes wanna shout n cry out loud : U dun love me anymore~

hahahahaha.. this is my drama.. of cause, I didn't do this infront of him... or.. maybe I had? u know.. sometimes, I will just be like a princess ask everything from him even the moon~
so... pls dun be surprise if I do so....


well.... after he said tht... after see the "lost-ed" face n mind.... " and show tht Yao Ming face... " I dunno what the **** she is talking about ..."

so,

usually, after given all my bullet all out through typing the key board.. keep typing n typing n typing... till my keyboard almost on fire* I know the  is a bit over* , till all the word in my mind is end.. * u know, my English is still Limited, so... after all the things out.. I will stop. cause I dunno how to continue anymore, unless changes the language channel. LOL...


 then, I will stop... cause... this time... hmmmm... the scary face with all the popping out vein will come out.. ya, till this time.. he will usually get angry... then he will "washed" me with all the super duper bleach!

so....then.. I will went into EMO stage... emo emo emo emo... emo .... emo......

then will slowly change topic automatically,

then will have some joke....

then make him smile back.....* is hard, usually after a big quarrel which cause by me.. while, most of the time is me la "

aiyo, u know la, gals is more complicated wat, wat more is a Gemini gal.. huuuuuuuyoooooh, more more complicated...  and guys are simple, straight forward, and gal will round here, then link there, then back to here.. there go high up and go down, and go through a big round....roughly like tht....
that why, everyone said guy know nothing bout gals... that is correct, cause even we gals, also dunno what is in our mind sometimes ~

so, my boyfie the level of tahan is super high de.. all because of me..* train by my super duper imagination; definitely have to change tht, was trying **

well.... ya, today , just now, just end another big quarrel... well.. cause can't shout, so our quarrel method is, through the skype, Camera, just the visual, no audio cause all our parent slept... and keep typing n typing n typing n typing.... and with all the fantastic facial expression! so... our quarrel method.. consider quite.... peaceful , I think, LOL

ya, tht is much of today... was waiting for today, was waiting for him....

good night.

is Day 9....

times flies, is day 9 he at Korea, and is almost 1 month we didn't meet each other face to face...

feel so strange, everything feel so.... unusual, at KL if I want to meet him, I can meet him so easy... but here, although I want to meet him so badly, need to arrange and arrange and wait and waiting....

oh ya, did I mention I already officially step into society to work? I am, fresh graduate nurse, was in induction course now, attending class, workshop, to know everything of my work place, is new, everything is new and scary, still having my culture shock now... and ya,

I am going in operation theater to work. *the other point of stressor.

he went to Seoul, can't meet him online yesterday, he said : is hard.

that all he said, actually, I was expecting bit more word, bit more message...
maybe a message just to said goodnight?

but there isn't any of them coming in although I waited till midnight....

hmmmmm.......

expecting too much again.....

feel so tired..haven start work yet, maybe tht time.... when I start work,
is more hard for me to blog, more hard for me to wait, maybe that time will be much better...much much better...

tired till I can't think much anymore, too tired till I have no energy to type or think beside work, study, work study and so on and cont till.... hmmmm... dunno~

I really hope til hardship will end soon, get bless for our relationship, my biggest wish... is really my biggest wish...

but he said have to wait... everything stable...

I wish...

it will happen soon...

I do hope so....

Day 5 and Day 6

I end my day 5 and day 6 sweet....

no matter what happen in my work place, after work.... when I see him through cam, he just can have the ability to sweep all away, fill my brain with all nice sweet lovely memory with all his clown face... joking around, playing around like a kid,

it just make my day end perfectly ^^

oh ya, got one news to announce, I am sending into Operation Theater to work, hmmm....
was quite shock at the first place,
after think ,
think, 
think, till scratch till my head skin almost pealing off....
I think I will pick up that challenge and work for it, I believe I can . 
No matter what, I will still find my place in that :)

alright, that was my 2 day....

tomorrow will be another brand new day...

gonna sleep now!

night!

Day 4

is weekend,
wake up late , rolling in the bed... felt that missed out something...

*oh ya, before he go to Korea, we used to talk in phone once I wake up*

that the thing I missed.....

oh well... can't do anything, he have to go for his grandpa birthday celebration, must be really busy in Korea there...

and me? spending my whole day with my lil brother, running under the rain, watch movie, chatting.... nagging... sound like a old woman??? hmmmm....

after the day out,
was spending time... waiting for his message...

waiting...

waiting...

waiting...

until one message came " I just came back home "

no matter that time how tired I am, was like suddenly get jap in a energy booster, jumping go tidy my hair, checking my look.. cause my oppa is back home, and gonna meet him online soon!

put up a bright smile greet him! hehehe... looking at him.. doing his stuff.. eating.. smiling like a big child.. worth everything! really!

in the heart just all honey, warm , lovely candy feeling pouring out... all butterflies flying around.. fresh flower growing like all disney cartoon movie, snow white singing, Repunzel dancing and singing..

hmmm.. ya, something like tht..

I dunno whether got people said I am stupid.. but all I know, it is something for me, and it is worth for me to do everything..

that my day 4,

gonna put full-stop at here.

sleep time, nite!

Day 3

is already went into day 3,

I thought he will be busy today, as he said he will go shopping with parent,

but he send me msg n reply my msg! tht surprise me!

and and and!!!

after work, I went to Butterworth for food hunting with my friends, informed him, and he did told me his plan...

I thought after that, I can't meet him online.. till tomorrow maybe or Monday,
was bit disappointed when I reach home , cause I know I might not meet him online...
was bit bit unhappy...
cause I can't listen his voice again~

who know, went I came back to home,
there is a surprise!
He is there,
waiting for me... cause he is worried about me.. I am happy! is sweet! is warm! is late there and he is tired, but he is waiting for me... tht is soooo sweet!

tht is my day 3, end with sweet and lovely !

is time to sleep~ Nite~!

Day 2

is day 2,
what happen today? let see....

this morning, I am happy cause I received his msg in the morning! for me, this is sweet~ hehe

sometimes, it doesn't have to be a long msg, a simple msg will make the whole day bright up :)

but at the end of day, my car broke down due to my carelessness,  after all thing settle, after my car done... when drive back.. how I wish I can call him and tell him and ask him to sayang sayang me.. I just like to be like kid in front of him wat..

suddenly also think that there had been sometimes since I slept on his shoulder, due to some depressing issue happen, things I wish is not tht easy to get, is not easy to be done, well... thing will be more sweeter if is hard to get right? so mine will be so sweet when it come to the end! hehehehe.....

Last pic, awww.... i miss tht moment!

I know he is not free at there, after so long back to home, need to spend times with family wat... can't request for more ma... right? can't be tht selfish right? *although I want to~ 

 Omgarrrddd! is just day 2 y feel like this is soooooooooo long! 17 days!!!

sound like I am being like crazy gal shouting at here! hahhahahahaha.....

shout shout!!!! I miss him!!! miss his voice! miss his warm hug! miss his big wide shoulder! !!!!!

Day 1

is day 1 he leaved to Korea,

this is the only fear that was always hunting me, always, like a big dark scary monster chasing after me in dream!

I know, maybe I am asking for bit too much... maybe I am seeking for a lil bit more attention... maybe I am asking for a lil more focus from him to me...

Is even more harder to contact each other when he is there,
*well.. cause I still haven get a smartphone for myself... 
is hard, is not easy...
waiting him after work.. staring at the empty screen, scrolling down facebook, keep on checking on my lappy, so scare tht I will missed even that 1 minute to meet him..
cause all of tht time, for me, is really precious!!

people might said I am crazy, put myself in a big gambling game, in this relationship;
if I win, then will be happy ending, if lose, I will lose everything, I means, really everything... can't really imagine how bad it will be...not even dare to think about it now..


is tiring, sometimes.. when things doesn't went smooth, doesn't happen as expectation.. the feeling is like a big fat elephant just step up on my heart, can't breath, and pain.. and trying so hard to move tht stupid elephant leg!

seriously, as I told all my frens, I had choose to step in this relationship, if I didn't give my best, I won't give up, I believe that I will get over this really soon, right??

is just day 1, 18 days more to go... just wish, pray hard everything smooth.
* honestly, my heart really follow together with him go to Korea..
still like struggling myself to find way to stand up and be strong, without heart, LOL.

Let count this days, together, at least.... with this way, I wont feel tht.... lonely, perhaps?