Day 1

is day 1 he leaved to Korea,

this is the only fear that was always hunting me, always, like a big dark scary monster chasing after me in dream!

I know, maybe I am asking for bit too much... maybe I am seeking for a lil bit more attention... maybe I am asking for a lil more focus from him to me...

Is even more harder to contact each other when he is there,
*well.. cause I still haven get a smartphone for myself... 
is hard, is not easy...
waiting him after work.. staring at the empty screen, scrolling down facebook, keep on checking on my lappy, so scare tht I will missed even that 1 minute to meet him..
cause all of tht time, for me, is really precious!!

people might said I am crazy, put myself in a big gambling game, in this relationship;
if I win, then will be happy ending, if lose, I will lose everything, I means, really everything... can't really imagine how bad it will be...not even dare to think about it now..


is tiring, sometimes.. when things doesn't went smooth, doesn't happen as expectation.. the feeling is like a big fat elephant just step up on my heart, can't breath, and pain.. and trying so hard to move tht stupid elephant leg!

seriously, as I told all my frens, I had choose to step in this relationship, if I didn't give my best, I won't give up, I believe that I will get over this really soon, right??

is just day 1, 18 days more to go... just wish, pray hard everything smooth.
* honestly, my heart really follow together with him go to Korea..
still like struggling myself to find way to stand up and be strong, without heart, LOL.

Let count this days, together, at least.... with this way, I wont feel tht.... lonely, perhaps?